Ceci.lix_Arte is about humanizing/normalizing intersectional identity and mental health while interrogating human rights abuses.
I am a Queer Puerto Rican artist, activist, student, and former pro athlete currently living between Seattle, WA USA and Puerto Rico. I have been using art as a medium to capture and contextualize, as an adult, complex trauma from childhood and diagnosis of Complex PTSD. It has been a difficult process to say the least, but finding information about this diagnosis has increasingly become more available. Painting is a segway to collectivizing what has felt stolen and reclaiming it through my abstract work finding deep in myself the endless fight for it. Much of my recent work is driven by an uproot of emotions and memories difficult to process about my childhood trauma while growing up in rural Georgia USA as well as deep depression and lingering suicidal ideation. After the increasing social-political upheaval in Puerto Rico began to surface, so did my need for taking control of my internal experiences. I really had no other choice. It was imperative for me to access this outlet as it helps me to ground all other artistic mediums I use, my body, activism, education, writing, and film.
I am an artist in that I am a mover first and foremost. I release or express myself with my body through movement. After retiring from pro soccer, I wasn’t sure what avenue to choose that would honor all of my expressions from joy to rage. I had used this medium before, but for my activist work for other causes. I needed this as an imperative in order for me to reconnect with the world again, which became my own language of understanding myself in this critical stage in my life so that I can continue with where we all are in this world together.
These bodies of art are polymorphic depictions of a personal process in an attempt to extract compounded trauma since childhood: unraveling the dis-ease – white supremacy, sexual abuse, machista, religious indoctrination, toxic feminism, psychological and emotional neglect/abuse, gender conformity, social and economic disparities – based in complex cultural and interpersonal violations. This has led to making the choice later in life to unearth these truths through unequivocal artistry of movement to embody self-determination, in this case, through paintings.
Each painting has a story: a collection of contemplative, thoughtful, erratic movement with defined momentum for the purpose to disclose the root of the trauma. These paintings are based in a contemporary world externalized as destructive metaphors, integrative imagery, and restorative shapes for my process.
Re-centering through each color and movement, each discovered expression lands back onto the canvas reflecting internal shifts at a mostly rapid rate. Addressing what society cannot and will not embrace is what I embody and reshape for myself, in collaboration with universal and collective transformation as the natural order of things.
Years of unspoken trauma violently suppressed found its own language and relation to an ancient existence.